Confessions from a Fat Girl

I believe I've mentioned before that I am over weight. I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I've been losing weight since I got off my crutches, recovered from minor surgery, and my health issues concerning my vitamin D were worked out.

My specialist and PCP (primary care physician, not, you know, the drug)are very pleased with the progress I've made. But we all three know that I still have some more to lose.

Although, I want to make it known here and now that my blood sugar is great. My sodium is amazing. My cholesterol is fantastic. My joint pain is unrelated to my weight. I have no health problems that are contributed to my weight...

...Yet.

That's why I want to get some kind of place with my weight that everyone can agree is good. I know that I will never be "skinny". I'm just fine with that.

I'm on Tumblr. There are several blogs on there that are for the acceptance of body types. Or rather, that's what they're masquerading as. What they honestly are is WE ARE FAT AND THAT'S OKAY AND ANYONE WHO SAYS THAT BEING FAT MAKES YOU UNHEALTHY IS WRONG!!!!

There's one that's for chubby fashion. It has now decided that anyone size twelve is not chubby and therefore cannot be featured on the blog. There is one blog that took down a girl's picture because she dared to mention losing weight and saying that she felt being too overweight is unhealthy.

I am NOT opposed to loving yourself at any weight. I'm really not. I think that it's hard to learn to love yourself fat or thin, and I do think that today's society and media is putting a lot of pressure on women my age that they need to be "perfect". And "perfect" is Photoshopped and fake and unobtainable.

That doesn't mean I feel like being fat is good for you.

I do feel like you can overweight and still be healthy. You for sure can. I don't feel like that should mean you never have to try to do anything about your weight ever again. I think being overweight makes it SO much harder for you to be healthy and STAY healthy.

I don't think that everyone needs to go on a starvation diet. I don't think that everyone would look SO MUCH BETTER AS A SIZE 000000000000!!!!! I don't think that having a little chub is going to kill you in the slightest.

That doesn't mean I think being two hundred pounds over weight is a good idea.

Why can't I feel that both are true? Why can't I feel that you can be a over weight and still healthy, and that being extremely overweight is a bad idea? I'm not passing judgement on anyone who is fat, Lord knows that's someone living in a glass house throwing stones.

I used to really like the idea of the body acceptance blogs. I used to think it was for anyone who felt like they were down trod and beaten because their bodies didn't look they way they "should". Now I feel like it's a bunch of fatties who want to feel elitist and make other people feel bad because NOW THEY HAVE THAT POWER AND HOLY SHIIIIIIT DOES IT FEEL GOOD.

And it breaks my heart.