Sometimes I really want to stop being nice to people. I like being nice. I like doing things for people and being generous and being giving and just being a Nice Person. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
So I suppose you could argue I do nice things for selfish reasons.
I've talked about this before. I've mentioned that sometimes it really bothers me.
For instance, it really bothers me when I offer to help someone make something on my sewing machine, even though I'm in the middle of a project. I really hate it when the person then latches onto the fact that I'm going to help and harps on me for a week about it, EVEN WHEN MY MACHINE BREAKS AND I AM BUSY TRYING TO GET IT FIXED.
I guess the worst part about that story is I'm finally all prepared to work on that project and the person is all; "Oh... Well I don't know when I can go shopping. Why can't you go with me in the middle of the week (when I have classes and other things to do)?"
If I'm doing you a favor, I will accommodate you, but there is a limit. You need to meet me halfway here!
I bought someone a doll off eBay. I have an eBay and a PayPal account, most of my friends don't. I have zero problems ordering something and having it sent to my house. I did it for Something Mysterious, and that went beautifully. I gave her the item, she gave me the money owed to go back into my PayPal, I gave the seller positive feedback. Perfect.
This person with the doll hasn't paid me. I have a custom made hoodie I want to order that I can't because I'm waiting on her to pay me. I stayed with her on Friday and she said; "Oh, I'll take dinner (which she VERY kindly paid for) out of what I owe you!"
After we've already gone to get it. After she already got mad that I didn't have money. Well maybe I would have had money if she had paid me on time! I should have said something but I didn't, because I wasn't opposed to the arrangement, I was opposed to the way she brought it up.
Just like I don't mind helping people with projects. I mind when they get pissy when I can't jump right to it, and then when I say I'm ready are not ready and want me to make sure I can still do it "soon".
This is all very passive aggressive. And I will continue to do nice things.
Sometimes I wish I didn't let these things get to me. There are some things I don't do for people anymore. There are certain people I won't plan surprise parties for. There are certain people I won't buy presents for. I just refuse to listen to people be jerks about the things that I do for them.
And it sucks because not everyone I do stuff for is like that! I made my friend Aero a stuffed Batarang to celebrate his new job and he was *thrilled*. I made my other friend a crocheted Heartless doll and he was overjoyed. I know it's that for every one person that an asshole, there are two more that are not.
It's just that the assholes stick out more. Maybe that's just a me thing.