There are some friends of mine that, for one reason or another, I really dislike doing favors for. And I hate that, because I want to be a nice person and do for others. I've always been taught that you should do for others, because you don't know when you might need a favor or something yourself, and you'd want others to oblige wouldn't you? Of course you would. Now go and do that thing you really despise. There's a dear.
For the record, I have no issue loaning fifty cents, loaning my cell phone to make QUICK IMPORTANT CALLS like work or your mother or your kid or your grandmother or whatever, helping someone figure out their college e-mail, running a message, stitching up a small tear, lending a DVD, letting someone borrow my mp3 player while I'm in class/wasn't going to use it anyway. Those are all things that don't affect my life one way or the other, and they earn me undeserved brownie points.
What I mind is when I get asked something like; "Can your (insert relationship here) look at my very expensive electronic device for really cheap?" Well sure, let me volunteer their services really quick. And sometimes I do volunteer other people, and for the most part, it doesn't really matter. But then it gets worse because; "Can you also find transportation for my very expensive electronic device, because I am obviously much too busy to get it there myself? What do you mean you don't want to carry it in this plastic grocery bag on the bus? Well won't it fit in your purse? Well can't you move the things in your purse to the bag?"
I don't like carrying that stuff because if it gets broken while in my care, I cannot afford to replace it. I don't even have places in my house to stash my stuff, let alone expensive devices that don't belong to me. What's even better is the mass shock when they realize I can't also transport it back to them because I actually have a life. "Well, why can't you?" BECAUSE! Because NO! Because!
I also mind; "Will you come here with me? Oh, by the way, I have no idea when we're going, so--just be awake." No, screw you. You want ME to go with YOU. I don't care if I go or not. But now I have to get out of bed and wait on bated breath for you to grace me with your presence? I don't think so.
I mind; "Oh I need to drop this off to you (most likely because you're taking it somewhere for me). I'll be over at (insert reasonable time here)." And then--THEY DON'T SHOW UP. And when I text them, they have the audacity to take an attitude about it. "I'll get there when I get there."
No, you won't. You're wanting me to do something for you. When people pull up to my house, the dog barks. When the dog barks, it keeps She Who Must Be Kept awake. When SWMBK is awake too long, she gets cranky due to her medicine. I think you'll get here in the times I say you can, because you know what? It's my house, and maybe you should be grateful I'm doing something for you!
I mind; when someone decides that I'm not doing something in a timely enough manner for them. No, quit it. I'll get it done the VERY moment that I can. Back off and give me a minute, and maybe it'll get done. I mean, if I've had, like, a t-shirt of yours to fix for over a week, yeah you can and should ask about it. If you gave it to me yesterday when you know I have class the next day? Well, just chill out.
And you know what? I mind; when someone asks to borrow my cell phone and then beauguards it all night long/obsesses over it. I know you're expecting a phone call that I let you give out MY phone number for (and trust me, I hate doing that. I let someone use my phone and his family proceeded to call me for a week straight and get mad when I told them I didn't know where he was. "But he called from this number!" "Yes, I know. He isn't here. I don't know where he is. Either buy him a cell phone or get him a GPS chip or something if it bothers you." "Well, he's dodging our calls." "THEN THERE IS YOUR CLUE! Do not call here again!"). But when you walk up to me every ten seconds and go; "Did anyone call for me? Did such-and-such call? Did the phone ring? Will you check it?" I get pissed off.
I AM SITTING RIGHT HERE. You can HEAR my phone if it rings. Did you hear it? No? Then go away. I'll get you the very second that it rings.
I hear so many people complain about how no one is willing to do favors anymore. But you know what? I'm not surprised! There's this magic sense of entitlement that I've noticed quite a bit, and I just want to make it all go away (including my own). Nobody owes me, you, your Great Aunt Sue or your daddy's uncle's octopus anything at all. If you need something, you ask very politely, and they should very politely say no or agree to it. If they say no, then the conversation is over. It doesn't make them a "bad friend" or a "mean person". You don't know why they said no! Maybe they legit couldn't do it! Every time I have to refuse a favor, I feel TERRIBLE and most people I know do too.
I think we, as humans, want to be nice. But we, as humans, are also apt to take advantage of the niceness of others. It leads to some *very* sticky situations, and it's sort of a bummer. But.. Well... I guess there it is.
But yeah, you can totally borrow my pencil. Just keep it. I have a billion.