So Close, I Could Taste It

I got my biology score back. I was .8 away from having a 2.0 Dr. Fox said it is much easier to climb for a 2.0 to a 3.5, which is what I need. I DO have hope, but I'm going to have to work my ass off.

I am willing to do that.

I'm just so FRUSTRATED at myself. There was NOTHING on that test I didn't know. But I panicked. I panicked because I had forty five seconds at each bone station, which is enough time to second guess yourself and erase and rewrite and circle and scribble and hyperventilate.

I mean, I forgot what a SCAPULA is. HOW COULD I DO THAT? THAT IS STUPIDLY SIMPLE! There was just so much information in my head that I just--blanked out. And while it is something that happens to everyone, it's not something that I can afford.

My instructor has admitted that they make this class so hard because there are so many people going into the medical field. You don't want people who don't know what they're doing working on you. (Herp derp.) I can really get behind this because so many people are going into nursing now because; "You make good money." Not because they want to work with people, not because they want to put forth the effort. They want money. I can kind of see that, but medical care is the wrong field to have this mentality.

This is a weed out class, and so is Medical Terminology. All this work is supposed to scare away the people who don't need to be there. Sadly, the people who are smart enough and just--panicked, need more time, whatever... Well, we're kind of screwed too.

I have come up with a new study plan, including a study group (whoo!) and spreading out my studying instead of doing it all the week of the test. I'm hoping that would help. I hate first tests anyway, you can never tell how an instructor is going to grade. I've had some go through with a red pen like they were getting their jollies on by marking you wrong. And I've had some struggle every which way to get you the grade that you need.

You can never tell what one will be. Biology (and Medical Terminology, for that matter) has a really strict way to grade so it's a level playing field for all the applicants going into one of the medical studies programs. I'm just hoping and praying and doing my best to make it into mine.

I don't have a back up plan at this point. I should probably get on that.

In other, happier news, I've thirty six dollars closer to going to Finland when I do finish school. Hurray!