I'm wondering how I really feel about this whole ORGANIC EVARYTHIIIIIIING movement that's going on.
I buy organic all natural bull shit for my skin. Why? Because my skin is a delicate fucking princess and can't stand a lot of stuff. I hate doing it most of the time, because shit's expensive. A bottle of facial cleanser cost me ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS! It wasn't a big bottle! I know a dab'll do ya, but good Lord.
I can't believe some of the prices they charge for organic stuff. I don't buy say, organic dish washing liquid (Dawn for me! From the discount store because it's like, two dollars cheaper there!) or laundry detergent (because vinegar and baking soda is cheaper and better for your machine/clothes). Most of the green/organic things I don't do because I'm a snob, I do it because I'm cheap.
I know someone who buys all the organic all natural stuff she can, because it's better for her and her daughter. That's awesome. I can't afford that. Why are the organic bananas a billion dollars more the regular, chemical laden bananas?
I've heard it has to do with production. They don't make as many bananas, so they have to charge more to make the same profit as the regular banana people. (Heh, regular. Like organic is abnormal!)
You know what though? I don't feel like most of the organic stuff works that much better than the regular stuff. I don't feel like organic fruit leather tastes different than the regular kind. I don't feel like organic bananas taste different. Organic meat tastes slightly different. Maybe I'm just uncultured, though.
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Ho Ho Fucking Ho
I went Black Friday shopping. There were TONS of good deals, I saved LOADS of money, and I got all my shopping done. Or rather, that which wasn't being done via Internet is done.
I shopped for about fourteen hours. Two hours of that was a nap in the parking lot of Menard's. I begged for the nap, because we had been going since eight pm and I was exhausted.
I got three nose bleeds (I've been having nose bleeds lately. They're not terrible, just gross and irritating, especially in dance class). I almost fainted in Wal Mart. When I was done, lugging my bags into my house, all I could think was; "Everyone better fucking love me this year."
It was nice to be able to buy people nice things that I thought they'd really like. And don't get me wrong, there are some things that I bought for myself. I found Jackass 3 for ten dollars, and I got that. I found a twenty dollar beanie hat for five dollars, and I bought it. Ten dollar blanket for six dollars became mine, along with an extra firm side sleeper pillow. I hate sleeping with pillows because I'm a picky bitch, but this one seems decent.
I also got a brush for dry brushing and some hoity toity hypo allergenic all natural facial cleanser. I almost had a heart attack, I usually get my cosmetics for less than five dollars. Yay chemicals!
Anyhow, here are things I thought about while doing my stint in Consumerism Hell.
1. I hate buying presents for couples. They usually get you ONE present, and you either have to get them one really nice present, or two presents. No! There are TWO of you and ONE of me! I think we all should all get one decent present if we're even doing presents!
2. Godfuckingdammit, why is that people over thirty forget to stand in line? Suddenly there are people cutting and line jumping and arguing and pinning me into a six inch space with their carts because they REALLY wanna check out. Hi, I know kindergartners that know how to stand in line. Maybe we can have them come and give the rest of us a lesson! Likewise, sighing and tossing your hair and whining won't make the line go faster. Yes, it's a two hour line. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you want to go home. I do too!
3. Little kids have way more stamina than me. They can go all night and still be bouncing off the walls! I wish I had that energy still.
4. When you're desperate, anything is suddenly a good present.
5. When you come home sleep deprived and come home, suddenly you will realize that you have to store all this crap in your home until Christmas. December first is suddenly an amazing time to give presents!
6. Also you'll forget what you bought who.
7. Also, when finished shopping, you'll want a taco. And Taco Bell won't be open, which is why you'll take a nap at Menard's.
I shopped for about fourteen hours. Two hours of that was a nap in the parking lot of Menard's. I begged for the nap, because we had been going since eight pm and I was exhausted.
I got three nose bleeds (I've been having nose bleeds lately. They're not terrible, just gross and irritating, especially in dance class). I almost fainted in Wal Mart. When I was done, lugging my bags into my house, all I could think was; "Everyone better fucking love me this year."
It was nice to be able to buy people nice things that I thought they'd really like. And don't get me wrong, there are some things that I bought for myself. I found Jackass 3 for ten dollars, and I got that. I found a twenty dollar beanie hat for five dollars, and I bought it. Ten dollar blanket for six dollars became mine, along with an extra firm side sleeper pillow. I hate sleeping with pillows because I'm a picky bitch, but this one seems decent.
I also got a brush for dry brushing and some hoity toity hypo allergenic all natural facial cleanser. I almost had a heart attack, I usually get my cosmetics for less than five dollars. Yay chemicals!
Anyhow, here are things I thought about while doing my stint in Consumerism Hell.
1. I hate buying presents for couples. They usually get you ONE present, and you either have to get them one really nice present, or two presents. No! There are TWO of you and ONE of me! I think we all should all get one decent present if we're even doing presents!
2. Godfuckingdammit, why is that people over thirty forget to stand in line? Suddenly there are people cutting and line jumping and arguing and pinning me into a six inch space with their carts because they REALLY wanna check out. Hi, I know kindergartners that know how to stand in line. Maybe we can have them come and give the rest of us a lesson! Likewise, sighing and tossing your hair and whining won't make the line go faster. Yes, it's a two hour line. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you want to go home. I do too!
3. Little kids have way more stamina than me. They can go all night and still be bouncing off the walls! I wish I had that energy still.
4. When you're desperate, anything is suddenly a good present.
5. When you come home sleep deprived and come home, suddenly you will realize that you have to store all this crap in your home until Christmas. December first is suddenly an amazing time to give presents!
6. Also you'll forget what you bought who.
7. Also, when finished shopping, you'll want a taco. And Taco Bell won't be open, which is why you'll take a nap at Menard's.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
"It Was Only For A Minute!"
I went to the mall today. I love going to the mall. It's a dying art now, being a Mall Rat. Leaving us are the days when you could spend whole summer afternoons hanging out at the mall, people watching and sipping and Italian Soda.
At least we'll always have Wal-Mart for our cheap entertainment.
Anyway, it's August. It's HOT in August, although today, it wasn't as bad as it's been earlier this summer. We've had some pretty humid days, and while today wasn't the worst, it still wasn't what I'd call comfortable.
I was walking a couple friends to their car so another friend and I could keep hanging out. My friends informed me that when they had arrived ten-fifteen minutes previously, there had been a minivan full of kids left in the sun.
"Did you call the police?"
"No," they looked at me, aghast.
"Is there even a window cracked?"
"Kind of?"
We approached the mini van, which was parked directly next to my friend's car. Sure enough, there is a car load of kids, one small enough to be in a car seat. While there wasn't a "window cracked" the back door for the trunk part was left wide open. Ventilation, right?
"Should we call someone? I'm really tempted. I think I should." I pulled out my cell phone, because, good grief, who leaves their kids in the car, in the heat, and leaves the trunk open!?!? This is screaming TERRIBLE IDEA to me!
Suddenly, coming rushing from behind me, was a tall woman, very well put together, with hair matching that of all the children. They all cried out with joy and called her Mommy, so I guess she was their mother. She glared at me as I said my goodbyes and headed back into the mall.
Well, Jesus lady, I'm sorry you didn't want to drag five kids into the mall, but they could have been A) kidnapped B) hit by a car when they decide to climb out of that trunk door C) had the heat take them if it had been too much hotter out.
I'm not a parent, and there is a SHIT TON I don't know. BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I later saw her hauling them all through Wal-Mart, giving me pointed looks. Okay, so you're doing what a mother does. What, you want a cookie to go with that?
I realize I seem really indignant here, but I always hear at least one story a summer of a child left in the car who dies, and I don't want to have be responsible for that. I also know when I was a kid and my mom left me in the car (AND SHE DID!) I *hated* it. I would sit and cry because I was so frustrated with waiting and thinking she'd forgotten me. So maybe I'm projecting all those feelings. And maybe she had just taken longer than she'd expected, and maybe she had to go inside because there was something she absolutely needed. There could be a million and one explanations that lady could give me.
...But really. Her kids. In the van. Trunk open. Seriously?
At least we'll always have Wal-Mart for our cheap entertainment.
Anyway, it's August. It's HOT in August, although today, it wasn't as bad as it's been earlier this summer. We've had some pretty humid days, and while today wasn't the worst, it still wasn't what I'd call comfortable.
I was walking a couple friends to their car so another friend and I could keep hanging out. My friends informed me that when they had arrived ten-fifteen minutes previously, there had been a minivan full of kids left in the sun.
"Did you call the police?"
"No," they looked at me, aghast.
"Is there even a window cracked?"
"Kind of?"
We approached the mini van, which was parked directly next to my friend's car. Sure enough, there is a car load of kids, one small enough to be in a car seat. While there wasn't a "window cracked" the back door for the trunk part was left wide open. Ventilation, right?
"Should we call someone? I'm really tempted. I think I should." I pulled out my cell phone, because, good grief, who leaves their kids in the car, in the heat, and leaves the trunk open!?!? This is screaming TERRIBLE IDEA to me!
Suddenly, coming rushing from behind me, was a tall woman, very well put together, with hair matching that of all the children. They all cried out with joy and called her Mommy, so I guess she was their mother. She glared at me as I said my goodbyes and headed back into the mall.
Well, Jesus lady, I'm sorry you didn't want to drag five kids into the mall, but they could have been A) kidnapped B) hit by a car when they decide to climb out of that trunk door C) had the heat take them if it had been too much hotter out.
I'm not a parent, and there is a SHIT TON I don't know. BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I later saw her hauling them all through Wal-Mart, giving me pointed looks. Okay, so you're doing what a mother does. What, you want a cookie to go with that?
I realize I seem really indignant here, but I always hear at least one story a summer of a child left in the car who dies, and I don't want to have be responsible for that. I also know when I was a kid and my mom left me in the car (AND SHE DID!) I *hated* it. I would sit and cry because I was so frustrated with waiting and thinking she'd forgotten me. So maybe I'm projecting all those feelings. And maybe she had just taken longer than she'd expected, and maybe she had to go inside because there was something she absolutely needed. There could be a million and one explanations that lady could give me.
...But really. Her kids. In the van. Trunk open. Seriously?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Guide for Thrift Store Shopping
1. LOOK! Thrift stores aren't like regular shops. Not everything good will be displayed RIGHT where you can see it. You need to flip through the racks to find what you want. This type of shopping is not for the lazy/faint of heart. It's for the cheap and clever.
Thrift shopping is like treasure hunting. You've got to dig through the dirt to find the treasure. But when you find the treasure, it's soooo worth it.
2. There are certain times of year that are better to go than others. I've found that back-to-school time, right after Christmas, and right when summer starts are good times. Why? Because people are cleaning out their closests for the new things they've just bought.
3. Keep in mind that you can buy things off-season. What the fuck am I talking about? Sometimes people get rid of their old summer clothes around winter when they happen to be doing that Christmas cleaning. Chances are the off-season stuff will be priced cheaper than the in-season stuff. (Even thrift stores don't think anyone is crazy enough to buy shorts when there's three feet of snow outside. Remember what I said about being clever?)
See a pair of shorts you like? Is it twenty degrees outside? Are they two dollars? Snap those bitches up! You can stick them in a drawer with the rest of your summer clothes. Sometimes you can get all your seasonal shopping done before the season even starts!
4. There's nothing wrong with used shoes. Don't like the thought of putting your feet where someone else's feet have been? Spray them with Lysol/launder them if it bother's you so much. They're as good as new.
Often times, you'll find a pair of shoes barely worn. That's why people got rid of them. They wore them maybe twice, hated them, and gave them away. I've found eight dollar boots that were maybe worn once.
5. Okay, so clothes that other people have worn bother you? Then wash them before you wear them! It's not that big a deal. In fact, I encourage the washing-before-wearing. I've found some pretty awesome jewelry too. But I certainly disinfect the earrings before I jam them into my lobes.
7. Not all thrift stores are created equal. Some are nicer than others. Some have stricter rules about what can and cannot be donated. I've heard people complain about torn/stained clothing.
If the thrift store you are going to has crappy merchandise, don't go to that one anymore.Go find another one. I call this the Denny's Rule, after that episode of Family Guy. Like there are two Denny's so people can say; "Let's not go to THAT Denny's. Let's go to the GOOD one."
The same goes for thrift shops. "Let's not go to THAT Goodwill. Let's go to the GOOD one!" There's almost an order of niceness when it comes to thrift shopping, I've found.
1. Cosignment shops tend to be the nicest (often times privately owned, so maybe one and two are a tie).
2. Privately owned thrift shops/cosignments.
3. Goodwill/Salvation Army
4. Saint Vincent de Paul.
The Saint Vinny's I find tend to be not that great. And keep in mind that this is a LOOSE sort of chain. Sometimes the Goodwill is the nicest. Sometimes that privately owned shops are. You're going to have to look around and see what's best near you.
8. Make it a DAY of thrift shopping. I don't know why, but it seems like you find a lot more stuff when you go to a few places instead of just one. Also, the bigger the place, the more stuff, the better chance you have of finding something awesome. At a Goodwill in Ohio, I got a fourteen dollar hat for two dollars, and I got forty dollar shoes for four dollars.
9. These places do have sales/specials. Saint Vinny's is known for the Five Dollar Bag sale where you get a paper sack and can fill it for five dollars. Some Goodwill centers will sell clothes for a dollar ninety nine a pound.
The Salvation Army in Ann Arbor announces the sales on the overhead. "Five items with a green tag will be five dollars." Or "Blue tag items are two dollars off!" Try and find out what's on sale when you enter and see if you can find any treasures that way.
10. Don't be too picky. You find an awesome shirt but oh noes! There's a tiny rip under the arm. So? Sew it yourself or find someone to do it for you. For three dollars you can't really complain.
11. Be bold. If you see something on the rack you want, and someone is eyeing it, then grab it! Some of these women that shop these places will claw your eyeballs out. Trust me.
Thrift shopping is like treasure hunting. You've got to dig through the dirt to find the treasure. But when you find the treasure, it's soooo worth it.
2. There are certain times of year that are better to go than others. I've found that back-to-school time, right after Christmas, and right when summer starts are good times. Why? Because people are cleaning out their closests for the new things they've just bought.
3. Keep in mind that you can buy things off-season. What the fuck am I talking about? Sometimes people get rid of their old summer clothes around winter when they happen to be doing that Christmas cleaning. Chances are the off-season stuff will be priced cheaper than the in-season stuff. (Even thrift stores don't think anyone is crazy enough to buy shorts when there's three feet of snow outside. Remember what I said about being clever?)
See a pair of shorts you like? Is it twenty degrees outside? Are they two dollars? Snap those bitches up! You can stick them in a drawer with the rest of your summer clothes. Sometimes you can get all your seasonal shopping done before the season even starts!
4. There's nothing wrong with used shoes. Don't like the thought of putting your feet where someone else's feet have been? Spray them with Lysol/launder them if it bother's you so much. They're as good as new.
Often times, you'll find a pair of shoes barely worn. That's why people got rid of them. They wore them maybe twice, hated them, and gave them away. I've found eight dollar boots that were maybe worn once.
5. Okay, so clothes that other people have worn bother you? Then wash them before you wear them! It's not that big a deal. In fact, I encourage the washing-before-wearing. I've found some pretty awesome jewelry too. But I certainly disinfect the earrings before I jam them into my lobes.
7. Not all thrift stores are created equal. Some are nicer than others. Some have stricter rules about what can and cannot be donated. I've heard people complain about torn/stained clothing.
If the thrift store you are going to has crappy merchandise, don't go to that one anymore.Go find another one. I call this the Denny's Rule, after that episode of Family Guy. Like there are two Denny's so people can say; "Let's not go to THAT Denny's. Let's go to the GOOD one."
The same goes for thrift shops. "Let's not go to THAT Goodwill. Let's go to the GOOD one!" There's almost an order of niceness when it comes to thrift shopping, I've found.
1. Cosignment shops tend to be the nicest (often times privately owned, so maybe one and two are a tie).
2. Privately owned thrift shops/cosignments.
3. Goodwill/Salvation Army
4. Saint Vincent de Paul.
The Saint Vinny's I find tend to be not that great. And keep in mind that this is a LOOSE sort of chain. Sometimes the Goodwill is the nicest. Sometimes that privately owned shops are. You're going to have to look around and see what's best near you.
8. Make it a DAY of thrift shopping. I don't know why, but it seems like you find a lot more stuff when you go to a few places instead of just one. Also, the bigger the place, the more stuff, the better chance you have of finding something awesome. At a Goodwill in Ohio, I got a fourteen dollar hat for two dollars, and I got forty dollar shoes for four dollars.
9. These places do have sales/specials. Saint Vinny's is known for the Five Dollar Bag sale where you get a paper sack and can fill it for five dollars. Some Goodwill centers will sell clothes for a dollar ninety nine a pound.
The Salvation Army in Ann Arbor announces the sales on the overhead. "Five items with a green tag will be five dollars." Or "Blue tag items are two dollars off!" Try and find out what's on sale when you enter and see if you can find any treasures that way.
10. Don't be too picky. You find an awesome shirt but oh noes! There's a tiny rip under the arm. So? Sew it yourself or find someone to do it for you. For three dollars you can't really complain.
11. Be bold. If you see something on the rack you want, and someone is eyeing it, then grab it! Some of these women that shop these places will claw your eyeballs out. Trust me.
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